The evil dimension

Written - Quotes

evil buffy quotes -
the complete collection from season 1.10 "nightmares":

Giles: Buffy?
She looks up. She has turned into a vampire.
Buffy: I thought I was dead!
Willow: Buffy, your face!
Buffy feels her face and realizes what's happened.
Buffy: Oh, God!
She keeps her hands up to hide her face. Xander takes a couple of steps toward her.
Xander: Buffy...
Buffy: (turns away) Don't look at me!
Giles: You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.
Buffy: This isn't a dream.
Giles: No. No, it's not. But there's a chance that we can make it go away. This all comes from Billy. Now, if, if we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place, but we must do it now! I need you to hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that?
She looks up at Giles.
Buffy: (nods) Yeah. I think I can.
Giles: Thank you.
They face the others.
Buffy: Well, we better hurry... 'cause I'm getting hungry. (starts away)
Xander: (following) That is a... joke, right?

Giles: Billy! Uh, Billy, you have to wake up.
Billy: No. I told her. I have to hide.
Giles: Why? From what?
Buffy: From him!
She's still in the hall and sees the Ugly Man coming toward her. Giles goes over to the window to look.
Xander: Aw, man, what do we do?
Buffy: I think I know.
She takes off her jacket. Willow hears buzzing outside and peeks through the blinds to see giant black wasps flying over the town.
Willow: Whatever it is, it better be soon!
The Ugly Man is making his way toward Buffy.
Buffy: Glad you showed up! You see, I'm having a really bad day.
Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen!
Buffy: Scary! I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. (takes two steps forward) And I'm one of them.

Billy: I-is he dead?
Buffy: Come here, Billy.
Billy: I, I don't...
Buffy: You have to do the rest.
Billy slowly comes around the bed and over to the Ugly Man.
Willow: What are they doing?
Giles gestures for her to be quiet.
Xander: I get it.
Buffy takes Billy's hand. He looks up at her.
Buffy: No more hiding.

evil willow & evil xander quotes -
the complete collection from episodes 3.09 "the wish" and 3.16 "doppelgangland"

3.09 "the wish":

Xander: Well, whadaya know? Cordelia Chase.
Cordelia: What is this? Some kind of sick joke? Harmony told me you were dead.
Xander: (plays her game) Now, why would she say something like that? Let's think.
Cordelia: Listen to me. We have to find Buffy. She'll figure out a way to save us. She was supposed to be here, and as much as it kills me to admit it... things were better when she was around.
Xander: Buffy? The Slayer?
Cordelia: No! Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?
Willow: Bored now.
She slowly walks up to them. She is also dressed in black leather. The bodice of her outfit is trimmed in red lace.
Willow: This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming.
Cordelia: What's up with you two and the leather?
Willow: (to Xander) Play now?
Xander: It's not that I don't appreciate your appetite, Will, but I thought we agreed it was my turn.
Willow whines and brushes her hand against Xander's chest.
Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are still together?! I cannot win!
Xander: Probably not. (vamps out) But I'll give you a head start.
Cordelia: (gasps) No!
She drops her bag and begins to run.
Willow: I love this part.
They kiss passionately with lots of tongue. Then Xander turns his attention to the chase.
Xander: You love all the parts.
Willow follows at a walk as Xander runs after Cordelia. He jumps up, runs over the smashed car and jumps down behind her, grabs her by the neck and throws her down to the street. She rolls to a stop, unconscious.
Willow: No fun. She didn't even hardly fight.
Suddenly a van comes screeching around the corner.
Xander: Aw, swell. It's the White Hats.

at the Bronze
Xander: (to the vampire) Slap my hand, dead soul man.
They shake hands, and Xander and Willow continue into the back. A guard vampire holds the curtain aside for them to enter. When he sees them come in, the Master rises from his throne. His two favored vampires come to stand before him.
Master: Ahh. Xander... Willow... Hungry?
He grabs a girl by the hair and lifts her by it. The girl remains silent with fear, but keeps her eyes fixed on the Master.
Master: (disgustedly) I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat, and she *looks* at me.
He notices Willow's desire for a kill, and turns the girl's head toward her.
Master: Go on!
Willow smiles up at Xander, who gives her a look of approval. She turns back to the Master and vamps out. The Master shoves the girl over to her. She catches her in her arms with her head laid back and bites her hard. Xander, as always, is impressed with her zest for a fresh drink.
Master: I remember that lust for the kill. (sits back down on his throne) Now... What news on the Rialto?
Xander: Had a prime kill. An old crush, actually, till that wannaslay librarian showed up.
Master: He'll be dealt with soon enough.
Willow comes back to Xander's side, licking her fingers.
Xander: Weird thing: girl kept talking about Buffy. 'Gotta get Buffy here.' Isn't that what they called the Slayer?
Willow: (strokes his chest) Hmm. Buffy. Ooo. Scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.
Master: (stands up) She talked of summoning the Slayer here, now, at this time, and you didn't kill her?
Willow: Well, they had crosses.
Master: The plant begins operation in less than twenty-four hours. (steps up to them) You will find this girl. (strokes their cheeks) You will kill her before she contacts the Slayer. Or I'll see you two kissing daylight.

at the library
Willow: You're in a big cage.
She taunts him with the key. Xander has Cordelia pinned against him with his hand over her mouth. Willow looks over at him.
Xander: Not too bright, Book Guy.
Willow turns back to Giles, who slams the cross against the cage, forcing Willow back. She growls angrily. Xander forces Cordelia closer.
Xander: So you're a Watcher, huh? (smiles widely) Watch this.
He lets go of Cordelia's mouth and sinks his teeth into her neck

at the Bronze
Xander: The deed is done.
Master: You killed the girl that sought the Slayer?
Xander: It was too easy.
Willow: I felt cheap.
Master: Excellent. The opening will commence as scheduled. (takes another sip)
Willow: (approaches) So, you're pleased?
Master: Ecstatic.
Willow: Then... can I play with the puppy?
Master: Ooo. (smiles) Be my guest.
Willow smiles as the Master hands her the keys.

Willow: Bored now.
She walks over to the wall of whips, chains and other instruments of torture.
Willow: Daytime's the worst. (runs her hand over the leather) Cooped up for hours. Can't hunt.
She takes a pair of iron shears and clinks it along the bars of the cell.
Willow: But the Master said I could play.
Inside the figure begins to stir.
Willow: Isn't that fun, Puppy?
She unlocks the cell door and swings it in.
Willow: Aw... Puppy's being all quiet. Come on. Don't be a spoilsport.
The man groans as she straddles him. She grabs him by the hair and jerks his head up. It's Angel, and he moans from the rough treatment. He seems constantly short of breath.
Willow: Guess what today is?
She runs the tip of the shears along his chin and down his throat.
Willow: Today the plant opens. It's a big party.
She licks him from the base of his ear to his forehead and runs her sharp fingernails along his neck.
Willow: You remember I told you about the plant? All those people you tried to save? It's gonna be quick for them. Not for you, though. It's gonna be slow for you.
She flips him over onto his back and straddles his stomach. He lets out a painful moan.
Willow: That's right, Puppy... Willow's gonna make you bark. (smiles)
He cries out when she rips open his shirt to reveal several very deep and bloody wounds on his chest. When she touches them he flinches hard.
Willow: Oh... Maybe I went too hard on you last time.
Behind her Xander strikes a wooden kitchen match with his thumbnail and tosses it onto Angel's chest. Angel cries out in pain.
Xander: Too hard? No such thing.
Willow: Watch it with those things. You almost got my hair.
Xander: Sorry. Got carried away.
He tosses her the large box of matches.
Willow: Don't you want to?
Xander: No, thanks, baby. I just wanna watch you go.
Willow smiles and turns her full attention on Angel. She lights another match, and the screen cuts to black. Angel screams in agony.

at the Master's factory
Master: Vampires, come! Behold the technical wonder, which is about to alter the very fabric of our society. Some have argued that such an advancement goes against our nature. They claim that death is our art. I say to them... Well, I don't say anything to them because I kill them. Undeniably we are the world's superior race. (the camera closes in on him) Yet we have always been too parochial, too bound by the mindless routine of the predator. Hunt and kill, hunt and kill. Titillating? Yes. Practical? Hardly. Meanwhile, the humans, with their plebeian minds, have brought us a truly demonic concept: (spreads his arms) mass production!
Vampires: (cheer) Yeah! Yeah!
Xander: We really are living in a golden age.
He is visibly moved by the proceedings. Willow tilts her head toward him and smiles.

3.16 "doppelgangland":

at the factory. evil willow is surprised to be there
Evil Willow: This is weird.

Cut to the Bronze
Percy: Hey! (recognizes her, surprised, then amused) Rosenberg? What are you doing, trick-or-treating? (points at her) You're supposed to be at home doing my history report. I flunk that class, you're in big trouble with Snyder. (smugly) Till we graduate, I own your ass.
She raises her eyes and looks at him with weary amusement.
Evil Willow: Bored now.
She shoves the heel of her hand squarely into his chest, sending him flying onto a pool table. He lands hard on his back, and his momentum forces him into a back roll off of it.
Evil Willow now has the attention of the crowd as she slowly goes over to Percy.
Evil Willow: (pensively) I'm having a terrible night.
She reaches down and lifts Percy up from the floor by his throat, digging her fingertips into his flesh and choking him.
Evil Willow: (expectantly) Wanna make it better?
Guy#4: Check it out!
Xander comes up behind him, eager to get in on the fun.
Xander: What's going on? Is there a funny thing?
The guys laughingly point over at Evil Willow and Percy
Xander: Back off! You stay the hell away from her!
Percy: (panicked) Okay! Sure! (scrambles away)
Xander turns back to make sure Willow is okay, but is stunned by the way she's dressed. For her part, Evil Willow's face brightens, glad to finally see a familiar face.
Evil Willow: (thrilled) Xander!
Xander: (amazed) Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you.
Evil Willow: (smiles widely) You're alive!
She hugs him, running her hands sensuously over his neck and back.
Xander: Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. (her hands go further down) Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. (her hands reach his butt) (jumps, surprised) Hands! Hands in new places!
Evil Willow: (realizes, confused, revolted) You're alive.
Xander: (nods, eyeing her curiously) You mentioned that before. Will, are you okay?
Evil Willow: (distraught) No! Everything's different.
Buffy: (finds them) Oh. There you are.
Xander: (never looking away from Evil Willow) Hey, Buff.
Buffy: Aren't you gonna introduce me to your... (recognizes) Holy *God*, you're Willow.
Evil Willow: (recognizes the Slayer, vehemently) You.
Buffy: (tries to be polite) You know what? (smiles supportively) I, I like the look. (stammers) It's, um... it's, it's extreme, but it, it, it looks good, you know, it's a (breathes deeply) leather thing, and, uh... (to Xander) I said extreme already, right?
Evil Willow: (steps up to Buffy, eyes narrowed with hatred) I don't like you.
Buffy: (taken aback) Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth. (puzzled) But you know... y-you really didn't have to prove anything.
Evil Willow glares at both of them with disgust. She has nothing to say to these humans.
Evil Willow: Leaving now. (starts away)
Xander: Will, gotta say, not lovin' the new you.
Buffy: (goes after her) Will, wait...
She grasps Evil Willow's arm from behind and turns her around, and is dumbfounded when she sees her in her vampire guise.
Evil Willow: (roars) Get off me!
She shakes the Slayer off and stalks away, leaving Buffy and Xander standing there in complete shock and dawning horror.

an alley... Evil Willow strides along it at a brisk pace. Behind her two vampires come into view.
Alfonse: Willow Rosenberg.
Evil Willow: (stops and smiles to herself in anticipation) I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
Alfonse: Then we won't talk.
He nudges his partner to attack
Evil Willow: (reprovingly) You made me cranky.
She brushes her fingers against his.
Alfonse: (panting) There's been a mistake here. We were sent after a human.
Evil Willow: (intrigued) Really? Who do you work for?
Alfonse: (hoarsely) I'm not telling you a thing.
With a half-smile, she takes one of his fingers and bends it back sharply, breaking it. He screams in pain.
Evil Willow: (still smiling) Who do you work for?
Alfonse: (gives in) Wilkins. The Mayor.
She takes another finger and breaks it, too. Again he cries out in pain.
Evil Willow: *Who* do you work for? (bats her eyes suggestively)
Alfonse: (gets it) You.
She drops his arm and lets him up. The other vampire gets up also, rubbing his head.
Evil Willow: (commands) Get your friends. Bring them here. The world's no fun anymore. (smiles evilly) We're gonna make it the way it was. Starting with the Bronze.

at the Bronze.
Alfonse: (yells) EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!
From over at the bar, Anya notices the vampires and begins to take an interest.
Alfonse: (to everyone) Alright. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave... and nobody gets hurt.
The door opens again and another vampire enters, followed closely by Evil Willow. She looks around at everyone, very pleased. Anya straightens up now, quite intrigued. Evil Willow smiles when she reaches the middle of the empty dance floor.
Evil Willow: Look. Everyone's all afraid. (sighs blissfully) It's just like old times.
Evil Willow saunters leisurely over to a girl alone at a table.
Evil Willow: (sweetly) What's your name?
Sandy: Sandy.
Evil Willow lightly brushes her hands along Sandy's arm and takes her hand. She slowly pulls her onto the dance floor where everyone can see them.
Evil Willow: You don't have to be afraid... (smiles disarmingly) just to please me. (to everyone) If you're all good boys and girls, we'll make you young and strong forever and ever.
She turns Sandy around to face the stage and stands behind her, continuing to fondle Sandy's shoulders and head.
Evil Willow: (enticingly) We'll have fun.
Sandy flinches when Evil Willow grasps her hair and pulls it to the side, forcing Sandy to tilt her head, leaving her neck bare. Evil Willow lasciviously licks the girl's neck.
Evil Willow: If you're not...
She looks around warningly, vamps out, smiles, licks her lips and roars as she bites Sandy savagely on the neck and drains her dry. Oz tries to run from the stage to Sandy's aid, but is stopped by one of the vampires.
Devon: (to Oz) No, man!
When Evil Willow is finished feeding, she lets Sandy's lifeless body collapse to the floor and morphs back to her human guise.
Evil Willow: (idly curious) Questions? Comments?
Oz: (shocked) Willow. You don't wanna do this.
Evil Willow: (approaches blithely) I don't? (smiles proudly) But I'm so good at it.
The vampire holding Oz lets him go down to meet her.
Oz: (horrified) Who *did* this to you?
Evil Willow: (recognizes him) I know you. (disgustedly) You're a White Hat. (eyes narrow, puzzled) How come you're talking to me like we're friends?
Anya slowly comes up to her from behind.
Anya: (unafraid) 'Cause he thinks you're someone else. He thinks you're the Willow that belongs in *this* reality.
Evil Willow: (confused) Another me?
Anya: You know this isn't your world, right? I mean, you know you don't belong here.
Evil Willow: (softly) No. This is a dumb world. (smiles wistfully) In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies.
Anya: (states the obvious) You wanna get back there.
Evil Willow: (nods mournfully) Yeah.
Anya: So do I.

at the library. Willow goes to the checkout counter and leans over, but can't reach what she's looking for. She starts to go around it, but an arm reaches around from behind and grabs her. A hand clamps over her mouth to prevent her from screaming.
Evil Willow: (gloating) Alone at last.
Evil Willow turns Willow around and looks her up and down, particularly noticing her pink sweater.
Evil Willow: (appraisingly) Well, look at me. (doubtfully) I'm all fuzzy.
Willow: What do I want with you? (catches herself) Uh...
Evil Willow: (grimly) Your little school friend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world.
Willow: Oh. (gets it) Oh! Oops!
Evil Willow: But I don't know... (smiles wickedly) I kinda *like* the idea of the two of us.
She turns Willow around again, caressing her shoulders.
Evil Willow: We could be quite a team, (meaningfully) if you came around to *my* way of thinking.
Willow: (uncertainly) Would that mean we have to snuggle?
Evil Willow brushes Willow's hair away from her neck.
Evil Willow: (coaxing) What do you say?
She gives Willow's neck an eager, lengthy lick. Willow shudders with loathing and grimaces at the feeling.
Evil Willow: (enticingly) Wanna be bad?
Willow: (completely unnerved) This just can't get more disturbing.
Evil Willow growls horribly with desire and bares her teeth behind Willow's neck. Willow freaks out and whirls around, stepping back and away from her.
Willow: (flapping her hands with disgust) Ack! Ew! No more! You're really starting to freak me out!
She tries to go around Evil Willow, but gets blocked. Willow lands with a crash, hitting her head hard against the metal filing cabinet.
Willow: Ow!
Evil Willow: (stalks grimly around the counter) You don't wanna play, I guess I can't force you.
Willow reaches under the counter for what she originally came for and pulls out the dart rifle just as Evil Willow comes through the door to behind the counter.
Evil Willow: Oh, wait.
Willow locks the bolt in place.
Evil Willow: (smiling meanly) I can.
Willow frantically aims and fires. The dart hits Evil Willow dead center of her chest. Stunned, she looks down at the protruding dart, staggers and starts to fall.
Evil Willow: (moans) Bitch...

at the library. Evil Willow regains consciousness in the book cage, now dressed in Willow's pink sweater and flowery skirt. She sits up and notices her change of clothes.
Evil Willow: (recoiling) Oh, this is like a nightmare.
The door opens, and Cordelia comes into the library. She's dressed in a shimmery evening dress, carrying a couple of books.
Cordelia: Hello? Giles?
Evil Willow notices her and remembers her recent kill in the alternate universe.
Cordelia: (casually) Wesley? I just happened to stop by... for books.
Evil Willow: (stands up, speaks imperiously) Hey, you.
Cordelia: (faces her) 'Hey me'? (insulted) 'Hey me' what? I have a name, you know.
Evil Willow: (thinks) Uh, Cordelia.
Cordelia: (steps over) What did you do? Lock yourself in the book cage?
Evil Willow: (cunningly goes along with it) Yeah. Lemme out... 'Cause I'm so helpless.
Cordelia: Okay.
She heads behind the counter. Evil Willow smirks at her success.
Cordelia: I think Giles keeps a spare. How'd you manage to lock yourself in, anyway?
Evil Willow: Uh, I was looking at books. I like... books...
Cordelia finds the keys and goes back to the cage.
Evil Willow: ...'cause I'm shy.
Cordelia: (sarcastically) Yeah, right. The famous shy girl act all the boys fall for.
Evil Willow: (anxiously) Open the cage. (tenses up)
Cordelia puts in the key and turns it, but stops short of unlocking it. She looks up at Evil Willow and has a thought.
Cordelia: Wait. (briskly) It occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman... with you locked up.
Evil Willow: (impatient) Don't wanna talk. Hungry.
Cordelia: (pretends to think) What could we talk about? Oh! Hey! How about the ethics of boyfriend stealing?

Cordelia: (rationalizing) And, okay, it isn't even like I was that attracted to Xander. It was more just that we kept being put in these life or death situations, and that's always all sexy and stuff.
Evil Willow just stares blankly out of the cage.
Cordelia: (gets up) I mean, I more or less knew he was a loser. (sets down the mug) (huffily) But that doesn't make it okay for you to come around and... (notices Evil Willow's stare) What? Do I have something on my neck?
Evil Willow: (wearily) Not yet.
Cordelia: (worried) Am I getting a zit? (checks her skin)
Evil Willow: (very bored and tired) Cordelia, I'm *very* sorry. I realize I was wrong. I'll never steal your boyfriend again.
Cordelia: (stung) Like you could! I should just leave you in there, but I'm a great humanitarian, (gets the keys) and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime.
She unlocks the cage, turns the handle and pulls the door open. Evil Willow steps out.
Evil Willow: Okay. (vamps out) How about dinner?
a dark empty classroom. Cordelia runs in and backs up along two rows of desks, pulling them together as she goes to block Evil Willow's way.
Cordelia: (desperately) I didn't mean all that stuff I said before. I want you to have Xander. My blessings on you both!
Evil Willow just pushes the desks back apart, making a game of it.
Evil Willow: I'm *so* over him. I need fresh blood.
Cordelia runs away screaming through the classroom's back door.
the girls' bathroom. Cordelia runs in and realizes she's made a mistake, trapping herself. Evil Willow strolls in behind her.
Evil Willow: No more hiding.
Cordelia backs away as she advances. Suddenly Wesley jumps out and brandishes his cross in her face.
Wesley: (commandingly) Back! Creature of the night!
Evil Willow growls angrily.
Wesley: (warningly) Leave this place!
Evil Willow: Don't wanna.
Wesley quickly but nervously reaches into his jacket and pulls out a vial of holy water. Evil Willow sighs. He holds it up, threatening to throw it on her.
Evil Willow: (sighs heavily) Whatever.
She turns and leaves.

Willow: (admiringly) Nice reflexes.
Buffy: (shrugs gracefully) Well, I work out.
Evil Willow: (to Willow, sadly) This world's no fun.
Willow: (surprised, empathetically) You noticed that, too?

at the factory where Evil Willow first appeared in this reality
Evil Willow gives her a naughty, knowing smile. The two of them walk over to join the circle. Evil Willow materializes in her own reality and smiles, only to be suddenly grabbed by Oz and shoved back onto a broken piece of the wooden cage, effectively impaling her through the heart.
Evil Willow: (miserably) Aw, f...
She explodes into ashes.